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Where life's thoughts can be expressed and time can be pleasantly wasted.
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So, I have finally reached this point in my life where I am becomming completely comfortable with who I am. Now you may wonder, what do I mean? Heaven knows this can have any number of odd and strange connotations, but I simply mean that I no longer feel the need to act like someone I am not. I don't want to be older, I don't want to be younger. I don't want to be doing something different, living somewhere different or leading some different kind of life. I spent so much of my high school wanting to be older. Striving to be older. My dad always critcized me saying "Why don't you hang out with people your own age." And now I realize, you know what? He's right. Not that I don't still enjoy hanging out with older people. And maybe it helps that now the line between "older" and "younger" is much more blurred. I mean, by "people my own age" I am referring to the 19-30 age group sorta thing... As oppsed to when you are 16 and you are hanging out with 20 year olds... there seems to be a stronger distinctions when you are youngers. Albeit, the drinking age also puts a great distinction.
Anyway- what I am really saying is that lately I have found this wonderful zone of contentment. I have a job (well, sorta, I've worked some at the Imperial lately), I have school, I have an apartment and I have friends. I am happy to be able to say to people "I am going to UNBSJ studying arts". I feel comfortable with it. I feel I am educating myself and it will lead to a bright and wonderful future. I can talk to people about literature or history etc and sound intelligent. I can actually contribute to the conversation instead of just be like "uh- sure..."
What's more than that, but I am learning to relax and not take everything so seriously. People have been telling me this for years, and for once I am finally listening. Maybe it's because I dated a guy who was always so uptight that I realized how annoying it can be, and how much more enjoyable a person is when they just relax and take life as it comes.
That being said- I have had a great week.
Finished an essay last week, and went out to O'Leary's on Wednesday. Saw my ex-boyfriend. Had one of those really ackward moments where we small talked for like 30 sec and then he was like "Yeah, I'm gonna go" and I was like "Good". That's what happens when you just end a relationship by not calling each other for over two weeks. It leads to ackwardness. But I did get this feeling of revenge when this (hot) guy I was talking to started kissing me in direct eyesight of my exboyfriend. Haha... ahh... I felt slutty but it still brought this feeling of satisfaction.
Went to Hartland on Fri with my mom. Her sisters were having a yard sale at my Grams place, so I helped set up. I came back down on Fri evening and picked up Lydia and he b/f and his friend. We picked up some bbq stuff and a shit load of liquor. Need I say more? It was one of those just awesome nights where we sat around till 2 am drinking and talking and laughing. It rocked.
Reggies Sat morning. Then I worked. Then I went out to see "Taxi" at O'learys with Lydia, her b/f, Ariane.... Awesome band. (No I'm not just saying this because I love the drummer, and am friends with the bass player.) I really enjoyed their sound... it was great. So, despite the fact I wasn't going to drink that nite, I did anyway. Had an awesome time. Um... went to sleep at 6:15... Got up at 10:30. Went to work. Came home. Ate supper. Slept for 15hrs. And now today I feel totally refreshed.
Got class tonite... and a bunch of reading to get done for Thursday's class.
By the way- I am glad my anonymous poster is back.... ahh muffin.... ;-)
posted by">Hayley @
12:13 PM
1 comments
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Monday, June 05, 2006  |
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