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I got up early this morning. I don't know why. Normally I am still sleeping right now.
I always used to get up early because otherwise I felt like I was "sleeping the day away". Now I simply want to sleep the day away. What else is there to do?
Unemployed, unhappy, alone. Without friends. Without sanity. Without ambition. Without purpose.
It's all good. It's all good.
Employment will come again, whether I want it or not.
Ambition and purpose will eventually make themselves present.
I don't know about happiness.
Sanity is long gone.
My sanity went running our of fear back when I was probably about ten years old.
I look for friends. And I occasionally find people I would like to be friends with. But it's breaking down that barrier; finding a comfort zone with them.
I try to find little things to spend my time on.
Reading.
I have a present I want to make for a friend who's birthday is in May.
(Friend? Have we entered the comfort zone? Or are the remnants of the barrier still there like the Germans keep remnants of the Berlin wall to remind themselves of the past. They don't mean anything. But they are still there.)
I am going to shower now. Find something to fill up the time between now and ten o'clock tonight when I can justify going back to bed.
And sleeping.
posted by">Hayley @
5:12 AM
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006  |
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