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Wow...... I fucking well hate this depressed sad unhappy horrible feeling that constantly seems to be plaging my heart and stomach. I'm at work... I was dropped off early so I have nothing to do for a while. And I'm just really really really unhappy. There's no sense in venting why- that's something that I don't even want to get into.
Anyway... I think I'm going to look into getting a second job for the evenings. Maybe I'll try Blockbuster.... it's close to home, and as long as they could give me evening shifts I'd be okay cuz it wouldn't interfere with Java Moose. I figure I might as well try and earn a shit load of money this summer... that's all that seems to matter in life anymore anyway- money money money money. Fuck happiness, as long as you have money everything will be okay, right??
God... I feel like I'm going to throw up... I put two "mood boosters" in my coffee from work, and it tastes really quite disgusting.
I wish I had killed myself a couple months ago when I could have... not that I couldn't now. That way I wouldn't have to worry about trying to finish fucking high school, and I wouldn't have to worry about university or work or my family or friends.
Anyway- might as well go back to work, eh?
posted by">Hayley @
5:04 AM
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Monday, May 12, 2003  |
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