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Where life's thoughts can be expressed and time can be pleasantly wasted.
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I despise life right now. All summer I was in wonderful spirits... happy, smiling, great all the time. Now, four days of school have past, and I've spent the past twenty four hours going through hell. Yes, I had a performance last night which was all well and good. It was a good show, we sold out and such. But on the other hand I've been going through a battle field of mental anguish that I just can't fucking well take any more.
I honestly went offstage last night, called my boyfriend who didn't get in to see the show (cuz it was sold out), then collapsed on the floor into violent sobs of anger and saddness. I just can't fucking well take it. I fucking well hate life. Nothing good has happened this week, in fact more shitty stuff has happened that good stuff.
You know, and all I really needed last night was a hug and kiss from Jon to make me feel wanted and cared for, and I didn't get it. I looked forward to seeing him all week, and ended up not seeing him. I could normally handle this, but on top of my brother and shakespeare and all this other bullshit like physics labs and math homework, I just couldn't handle it.
I realize I'm a fucking petty, stupid teenage moron. I realize that my entire life is a pile of bullshit which is never going to amount to anything. And I just can't take it. I can't take anything.
posted by">Hayley @
6:25 AM
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Saturday, September 07, 2002  |
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