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Where life's thoughts can be expressed and time can be pleasantly wasted.
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In the past day I have been thinking, and it has occured to me just how much my life is changing, and how much I am changing as each day goes by. I know it's very cliche, but it true- I'm growing up. Things that only a mere year ago seemed untolorable or that I refused to see or understand, I am finding so much easier to comprehend now. One thing that just in the past week or so I have noticed change with is my family and the relationship I hold with my parents. My father and I have never had a great relationship ever since I had a mind of my own and said "no". There were times that I would seriously sceam "I hate my father" (although I think a lot of teenages say this about parents at some time). However lately I have seen my father and mother in a whole new prespective, and I have learned how to deal with them. For instance, when my father does annoying things, or make demands (even as simple as "get me a cup of coffee" or somthing) I learn how to deal with it. I also realize that at the present moment I am very content and happy with life. I have friends and people who like me and respect me for who I am- something that for the longest time I didn't think existed. I grew up in a small town- Hartland. I was an outcast. I was disliked. I was hated. I spent most of my childhood without close friends or going through horrible traumas because of the kids who bugged me, and would tease me. I got used to it. I started to conform in some ways in a hope to fit in (for instance I would buy clothes from the cool stores, and even got a compliment on a purple turtleneck sweater I owned... it kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Marge wears the pink Chanel suit, and therefore gets invited to visit the Country Club.)- I was even invited to parties before I left Hartland (although I got this invitation by saying I could get the booze- but I still got the invitation.) People would never call me to hang out... I would always have to call them. Now I realize that here in Saint John I have people who enjoy my company, and who see me for what I am and like me for those reasons. I am an eccentric, slightly insane and irrational person who can be extremely annoying. Even for the first year in Saint John I was still parinoid... I was parinoid people would be bugged by my mindless chatter... my obsession and love for acting... my one-track mind... but I am beginning to realize that people aren't annoyed by these things, and everyone has their flaws and interesting quirks. My friends even enjoy some of my crazy quirks... which has made me realize how great friends and life can be. I don't have to try and conform to other peoples' ideas- I am free to think with my own mind. I finally have found a place where I belong. For one of the first times in my life, I'm feeling truly happy.
posted by">Hayley @
7:06 AM
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Monday, August 05, 2002  |
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